Meditation
by jane0904
Summary: Mal/Freya. One-shot. Freya meditates on her family. Thank you for reading.


Everyone was busy: Kaylee was in the engine room, some vital part of Serenity spread out over her workbench, Simon was in the infirmary, changing Jayne's dressing and enduring sarcasm and threats as usual. River had Bethany in the cargo bay, playing with some wooden bricks Jayne had made, building them up high so the little girl could knock them down and laugh, waving her hands until River did it again. Inara was in her shuttle, making arrangements to visit some clients at their next stop, while Mal, Zoe and Hank were on the bridge, making arrangements of their own about a job.

Freya glanced towards the cockpit and smiled. There was time now, time she sometimes couldn't get to be alone.

She dropped down the ladder and closed the hatch firmly above her before pulling the blanket off the bed. Folding it carefully into a pad, she placed in on the floor in the centre of the room. Tradition dictated she sit naked on the floor, but she drew the line at having the cold bulkhead beneath her buttocks.

Removing her clothes, she lay them carefully on the bunk and picked up her new brown shawl to wrap herself in. Mal had bought it for her on Phoros to replace the one she'd donated to Bethany, and every time she used it she felt encircled by his love. The silver Firefly nestled between her breasts.

Taking the small statue and incense holder from next to Mal's shaving gear, she sat down on the pad, arranging them in front of her. She struck a match and held it to the incense, letting the end catch before blowing them both out. For a moment there was the sharp tang of phosphor, then the sweet scented smoke seemed to permeate the cabin.

She smiled. Mal had often commented on the perfume on his clothes, saying he was beginning to smell like Jayne after he'd been partaking the company of women, but in reality she knew he didn't mind that much. It reminded him of her.

She released the shawl to fall in liquid folds around her hips, and closed her eyes.

"May the waters of the oceans cleanse me. May the sun dry my tears and warm me. May the winds of the north, south, east and west blow through me and carry my fears into the endless night." She breathed deeply, saying the old words over and over, letting them fill her. She didn't know where they'd come from, only that her teacher had used them to meditate to, and so she did as well.

As she spoke, her lungs drawing the aromatic air deep inside, it was as if the walls of Serenity became transparent, and she could see her friends, her family, bright colours against the translucent grey of the ship. She could feel their heartbeats, see their thoughts as bright sparks of energy, weaving complex patterns in their minds. There was the crimson that was Inara, the unexpected orange of Jayne, the cool blue of Simon, the purple of Kaylee, while both Hank and Zoe were greens, so close as to be indistinguishable. And the effervescent rainbow that was River.

Freya gravitated, as always, to Mal, his tone appropriately autumn, all browns and deep reds, but with flashes of greens and golds, like the fire on her back. She let herself wrap around him, feeling his love for her and luxuriating in it, allowing his strength to strengthen her, giving all of herself back to him.

Then her mind spun out, beyond the ship, into the black, no longer empty but filled with the hopes and dreams of billions, all tangled into the web of humanity. There were bright points, where a nexus of lines formed, and these were the memories of people. Two, always close to Serenity, were Wash and Book, and for a moment she touched them, became one, let them know they were not forgotten. A third was small, barely registering, but this she knew was Alice, her potential drawing the joy to her. Freya became the flame, lighting the darkness for them, revelling in their lives, before feeling herself drawn back in, through the skin of the Firefly, past the cargo bay and River, who looked up at her, and back into her own body, the words still moving her lips.

Now they changed. "Let my family be with me and console me. Let my love for them sustain me. Let my passions be at peace. Let them enlighten me." She breathed in, holding her body at that point until she could no longer bear it, before exhaling and feeling cleansed once more.

She opened her eyes and looked round, smiling at Mal, standing at the bottom of the ladder.

"I didn't mean to intrude," he said softly, acutely aware of the flame on her back burning so brightly.

Freya stood up, pulling all the separate strands of herself back together, feeling herself heal a little more. Her flesh glowed in the light. "You weren't," she said, letting him look at her.

"Frey …" He shook his head, his voice growing husky with desire. "You stand there like that, you make a man start thinking all kinds of things." He sighed. "And I ain't got time to play."

She crossed the room, and put her hands on his face, pulling him down to her. They kissed, and Mal lifted his hands, running them up the colours on her back, almost feeling it scorching his fingers. "Frey," he muttered into her mouth, lifting her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed.

As they made love, the sweet scent of incense surrounding their pulsing bodies, a feeling of calm spread throughout the ship, of healing passion, of enlightenment, and down in the cargo bay River smiled.


End file.
